Over a decade ago, I participated in a negotiation course led by Peter D. Johnston, Managing Director of NAI Limited and author of Negotiating with Giants. One exercise from that course has stayed with me because of how clearly it captured the dynamics I’ve seen play out in team decision-making, cross-functional alignment, and collaborative problem-solving ever since.

We were divided into two teams, each representing a company pricing barrels of oil at either $10, $20, or $30. Before making our final decisions, a representative from each team was invited to meet with the other. This was a rare moment of potential alignment – an opportunity to share intentions, build trust, and seek mutual benefit. Each side could choose honesty or deception.

Both teams chose deception.

Assuming the other side would try to outmaneuver them, each team lied in hopes of securing a competitive edge. But in doing so, we all missed the most profitable outcome – agreement at $30 per barrel, which would have maximized gains for both parties. In the absence of trust, collaboration broke down, and with it, any hope for optimal results. The most telling moment came at the end, when both teams agreed: they wouldn’t trust the other in future negotiations. A chance to build a valuable relationship had given way to mutual suspicion.

I’ve returned to this scenario many times because negotiation principles show up constantly: in partnerships, in hiring, in internal alignment, and in strategic planning. Whether the stakes are large or small, the underlying patterns are often the same. And this exercise crystallized principles I keep returning to:

• Start with real interest in the other party’s success. Not as a tactic, but as a mindset. When people sense that your only goal is to extract value, they’ll protect their own interests just as fiercely. But when you make space to understand their position and look for mutual wins, it opens up creative paths that zero-sum thinking shuts down. That shift in posture often changes the outcome entirely.

• How you show up now shapes what doors open later. The temptation to go for the short-term win is real, but it can cost you more than it earns. Across the teams and collaborators I’ve worked with, the strongest partnerships were rarely the ones born from the hardest bargain. They were built over time, through reliable behavior, follow-through, and an eye toward sustainability. Your reputation – how people expect you to operate – is a negotiation asset in its own right.

• Long-term value sometimes requires a short-term concession. That’s not giving in – it’s sequencing. The key is understanding your BATNA: your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement. BATNA gives you clarity on your walk-away point and keeps you grounded when decisions get emotional or complex. It also allows you to offer concessions strategically, knowing what’s worth trading and what’s not. Done well, today’s compromise can be tomorrow’s leverage.

Final Thoughts

It’s easy to assume competition as the default posture in negotiation. The leaders who consistently unlock better results are usually those who understand when to shift gears – to collaborate, to build trust, and to take the long view.